It’s the top of the world as we all know it

Create an emergency preparedness plan.

I don’t know what an Emergency Preparedness Plan is. (Actually, I didn’t even realise that “Preparedness” was a correct phrase till now.)

If we’re speaking about surviving an apocalypse, fairly frankly I wouldn’t wish to; I’d fairly be taken out by the asteroid/zombies/marauding Chats Noirs/no matter, than must struggle my neighbours for the final tin of natural plum tomatoes looted from Waitrose. Nevertheless, if we imply usually having sufficient to get by within the occasion of all provides being lower off, the one fear we’ve is Louis Catorze’s meals.

If his Orijen provide have been to stop, Catorze would simply starve. In contrast to people, and most canines, cats received’t accept a below-par second selection within the occasion of their first selection not being out there. There’s none of that “They’ll eat it when their pure survival intuition kicks in” logic. NO, THEY WILL NOT. THEY WOULD RATHER DIE.

The little sod does eat issues aside from Orijen; he’s keen on a little bit of jambon de Bayonne (the white fatty bits, not a lot the pink bits) and natural aged Comté from the cheese deli (not grocery store Comté, and positively not Cheddar). Nevertheless, he solely eats them in small quantities, as if he KNOWS they’re a delicacy and that it will be vulgar to gorge himself foolish on them (the feline equal of filling a wine glass proper to the highest, which Cat Daddy as soon as did in a elaborate restaurant and the sommelier was disgusted).

I can’t see Catorze consuming sufficient to maintain himself – and, post-Armageddon, I think about that recent jambon de Bayonne and recent Comté could be in even shorter provide than Orijen.

Catorze additionally fortunately tucks into the blood and heads of rodents however, once more, despite the fact that we’re all advised that rodents would survive a nuclear holocaust, I don’t suppose Catorze would have the ability to catch sufficient to maintain him alive. And I don’t like the concept of him consuming semi-nuked rats and turning into some form of radioactive FrankenRoi. He’s sufficient hassle as it’s.

In brief, we don’t have a plan. If Catorze have been to make it by means of Armageddon, his solely hope is that we die first after which he might simply eat us. I consider he would have the decency to attend till Cat Daddy have been absolutely useless, however, with me, partially-dead would suffice … and he would begin from my toes and work upwards.

The tip is nigh.

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